When a man, your husband or boyfriend goes out and comes home always late after work hours, there is an urgent situation at hand. His coming home late could be caused by certain reasons. If you know what prompted the change, then it's a bit easier to fix, but when all of a sudden he starts coming home late without you having the slightest idea of what could have gone wrong or what to do, then, 6 things should receive your immediate attention.
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Now, lets get to the points...
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No. 1 - His Friends
Too many women gets it really wrong when they concluded so fast about "a-mistress-out-there". The fact and irony is that, a man's friend(s) does have a larger influence of keeping your man out late and a mistress could keep him away from you all-night: so there's a big difference.
If your spouse is held-back by reason of a 'mistress-power' and you're still seeing him come home late, he could be having some concern for you or his kids until the phase of not coming home at all but if he's just a regular late-hour-man, think more of other things than a mistress and his friend(s) is/are suspect.
When a married man goes clubbing without his wife, that could be sponsored by his friends. But, it's unfortunate that a woman can't separate her husband or boyfriend from his friends except he, himself, is convinced to do so.
If your spouse is held-back by reason of a 'mistress-power' and you're still seeing him come home late, he could be having some concern for you or his kids until the phase of not coming home at all but if he's just a regular late-hour-man, think more of other things than a mistress and his friend(s) is/are suspect.
When a married man goes clubbing without his wife, that could be sponsored by his friends. But, it's unfortunate that a woman can't separate her husband or boyfriend from his friends except he, himself, is convinced to do so.
Yes, i'm using the word "loves" because some men really 'love' their alcohol mixed. You just can't separate them from their Amarula, Moet, Star, Hennessy, Gulder with a mix of other drinks or even 2 - 3 bottles of raw-drinking. The point is, they either drink alone; which is rare, or, with friends; note my No. 1 reason.
The unfortunate part to this is that if you met him as a bar-lover, the transformation task could be almost impossible but there's hope. If your husband or boyfriend has always been drunk, he stays out late drinking and then comes home to beat you at the slightest provocation, you experienced that and yet you married him hoping he would change?
There are some processes that could manage the situation for you.
READ How to Save a Dying Relationship
The unfortunate part to this is that if you met him as a bar-lover, the transformation task could be almost impossible but there's hope. If your husband or boyfriend has always been drunk, he stays out late drinking and then comes home to beat you at the slightest provocation, you experienced that and yet you married him hoping he would change?
There are some processes that could manage the situation for you.
READ How to Save a Dying Relationship
STEP 1. Build a bar at home
Maybe you don't understand, encourage him to have a bar at home, and if he does already, ask him to stuff it with those drinks that keeps him out late from you. Dealing with a husband who stays out late may require that you deny yourself of regular complaint and face the healing process of your man. To know how to deal with this addiction, you must know how he's been treated at those places he loves going to.
STEP 2. Be his bar-mate
Of course, you surely must have registered your detest about his drinking habit and in his practical response, he has chosen to drink out there and later come home, banging on the gates and doors. But, not too worry, tell him he's now permitted to drink Star, Moet or whatever his choice is at home. Be aware that, there's always a mate at the bar that makes the bar feels like home but now, that's gonna be you; more like his bait! Sit beside him, touch him, rub him as he sip and make the home-bar worth anticipating. You could learn to make or buy some refreshments he could take along with the drink.
Of course, you surely must have registered your detest about his drinking habit and in his practical response, he has chosen to drink out there and later come home, banging on the gates and doors. But, not too worry, tell him he's now permitted to drink Star, Moet or whatever his choice is at home. Be aware that, there's always a mate at the bar that makes the bar feels like home but now, that's gonna be you; more like his bait! Sit beside him, touch him, rub him as he sip and make the home-bar worth anticipating. You could learn to make or buy some refreshments he could take along with the drink.
STEP 3. Control his bottles.
Young woman, the first best side to step 1 & 2, is that you're gonna be saving your man from being drunk and that's cool. At the point where you became his bar-mate, you've made yourself his talk-mate also. Let out all the office stress and traffic jibes and let them be discussed over the table with him. Now it's time to work on him or should i say 'talk-sense' into him.
Here's the transformation part. Be as subtle and humble as you can in-order to make him see reasons to reduce his bottles to almost nothing. I know women got tricks with words and that's the right place to activate it. Make him see the impact of his drinking habit on the kids and if no kids, on his health or even you and his loved ones. Connect the negative impact of his drinking habit to those he loved or got strong emotions for.
Here's the transformation part. Be as subtle and humble as you can in-order to make him see reasons to reduce his bottles to almost nothing. I know women got tricks with words and that's the right place to activate it. Make him see the impact of his drinking habit on the kids and if no kids, on his health or even you and his loved ones. Connect the negative impact of his drinking habit to those he loved or got strong emotions for.
As proven by two clear recent proofs, he will stop drinking within a month and the worse he could be is to have a little sip before bed.
Note: You can change a man but NOT in a day; it takes a consistent effort. Don't put your mission right at his face. Go slow and win him over.
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No. 3 - When there's Nothing for the Home-coming.
Some women grows too older than their age. At the beginning of your marriage life, just at the blast of his car-horn, you're up, right there at the door, waiting to give him a warm welcome home hug, pull off his suit and take his shoes to the right place. You asked him to go have his shower and then you both analyze how the day went over the dinner-table. Hey woman! What happened to that?
Oh! He hurt you somewhere along the relationship and you think the fastest way to register your displeasure is to stop being homely; to stop one of those things that kept your relationship strong and going.
Get this young woman, when you show love to even your enemies, you activate their conscience and you make them more worried. Getting even has never been a solution to a dying love-life. Away from that, maybe, just maybe, you felt you're too old to give your man a hug, unbutton and pull off his shirt and all that once-a-little-girl lovey-dovey sweetness?
Truth be that, no matter how old your man is, he's still a baby boy to you as you're his baby girl. Don't be too familiar with your husband to the extent of discontinuing what keeps the romance on-point. And if you're just not feeling him and it looks like the romance in your relationship is dead...
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Whichever happened or is happening, that from office/work to home connection MUST be established. He should have the feeling of being amidst his family: his loved ones.
No. 4 - When Nagging Becomes your Trademark.
If you're worried that your husband stay out late but you nag him whenever he's home, then you're the one keeping out there. Anything that won't make a man smile when he gets home after work hours is nagging! Even when you seem right.
You showed him the bills even before he took his night bath, you talk about the kids school fees few minutes after he got in, that's all wrong! I think we still have after-dinner and bed-time-talks, do we? Whatever is the home need, there's always a right time for its listening.
Needless to emphasize on the attitude of "where are you coming from, you can't even make a call to me, no beep on my phone, no text message, nothing, and for your information, the phone bill, the electricity bill, the water bill is beside your meal over there." Whether there's a critical reason why he was late or not, you care-less. A man in his right mind may loose it at such attitude. There's a better way to ask his where-about and notify him about those bills to pay.
READ: How To Get Out and Get Over An Abusive Relationship
You showed him the bills even before he took his night bath, you talk about the kids school fees few minutes after he got in, that's all wrong! I think we still have after-dinner and bed-time-talks, do we? Whatever is the home need, there's always a right time for its listening.
Needless to emphasize on the attitude of "where are you coming from, you can't even make a call to me, no beep on my phone, no text message, nothing, and for your information, the phone bill, the electricity bill, the water bill is beside your meal over there." Whether there's a critical reason why he was late or not, you care-less. A man in his right mind may loose it at such attitude. There's a better way to ask his where-about and notify him about those bills to pay.
READ: How To Get Out and Get Over An Abusive Relationship
No. 5 - When You Have Your Siblings or Relatives Living with You.
I came about this submission via 3 different issues that caught my attention last year. This has a lot to do with the setting of your house. Anything that won't spare the bedroom for you and your man should NOT be permitted.
Two among these three cases were resolved. It was a double and single-room situation. In my opinion, if what your man could afford at the moment is a single-room don't invite your sibling or relatives to live with you. If you do, the FIRST thing that will be affected among other things is the sex-life of both of you.
Two among these three cases were resolved. It was a double and single-room situation. In my opinion, if what your man could afford at the moment is a single-room don't invite your sibling or relatives to live with you. If you do, the FIRST thing that will be affected among other things is the sex-life of both of you.
Even when he agrees, don't try it because at the long-run, he won't endure it and if he does endure, it could sponsor an unusual reaction towards you. On the other hand, if there is an extra room for your visitor(s) to stay, situations could be managed.
Your siblings or relatives can come over for a SHORT visit but if they are to live with you, i'd rather advice you rent another apartment if such isn't under-age.
Your siblings or relatives can come over for a SHORT visit but if they are to live with you, i'd rather advice you rent another apartment if such isn't under-age.
READ When Your Husband is Having an Affair and Comes Home Late
No. 6 - When He Wants to Pass a Message to You.
No. 6 - When He Wants to Pass a Message to You.
This is somewhat common with men, and another way he could go is not eating the food you prepared. If he chooses to come home late, just create a good mood to ask the reason for the sudden late-coming.
One thing is certain, there must be a reason! It could be your attitude to sex, the act of doing your will, the hurt of something he hasn't forgot or forgiven you about and several others. But, whatever it is, if you don't want to keep him out there, ask him to forgive you and that means, you are gonna change in regards.
One thing is certain, there must be a reason! It could be your attitude to sex, the act of doing your will, the hurt of something he hasn't forgot or forgiven you about and several others. But, whatever it is, if you don't want to keep him out there, ask him to forgive you and that means, you are gonna change in regards.
Now. if you want your man's coming home to be like a kid going to Disney land the above-listed are areas that demand a check-up and quick fixing. Sometimes, when love faces reality, there could be a serious contest. Do all you can to keep your man always in your arms. To receive another interesting topic via your e-mail click here
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