Strategies for Building a Healthy Home

I’ve a feeling that there are so many issues going on in homes right now and this, I need to treat. I can hear different men and women sounding really bitter about their loved ones. “Why he is too difficult to please” . . . “I never knew she would turn-out this way”. Friend, I understood just how you’re feeling and here comes some solutions.

Generally, we’ve a problem. We always want our partners made so perfect. We always want someone with no fault or one without weaknesses. Sometimes we even want them to assume our intentions even before saying them; we always want to appear perfect while shifting our blames of imperfections to our partners, making them look like the problem of the relationship. Then, we act as the superman forgetting that we are just Clark Kent in costume. Please, get this; everyone you encounter on this planet or that probably walk into your life can never be a customized to your personality. On your end, I could imagine your weaknesses; those words you murmur in your closet - when he has gone out, when she is not around. I mean those things you wished you could change about yourself - habit, attitude and whatnot. Yet, as much as you’ve been trying to see more of the mistakes of your partner while you appear good, your relationship has been dying gradually. Read how to save a dying relationship.

Building a healthy home is not achieved around two perfect people. The fact is, there can never be two perfect people. Any couple that appear perfect to you has only achieved a good level of emotional and spiritual maturity to deal with matters. Every home got problems and these problems vary because the characters involved are not the same. Don’t be deceived! As a relationship counselor, there is an understanding that there’s no situation in marriage that doesn’t have its solution if we can be patient and ready to make some efforts. What you are experiencing with your spouse is only a phase, the best you can do is to help him/her pass through the dark times and you both will celebrate the lightening. Never compare them to anyone; you might be doing more damage than harm. The fact remains that those you praise or admire as superhuman are just in costume. Their weakness is just sealed off your sight, you are not privileged to see or experience it because you are not this close to them. Maybe you need to ask their spouse, friends or relatives to affirm that we are not spirit beings. Every man is made good but sometimes, the experiences of our past drop faults in us, and thereby, make us frail and vulnerable.

To the wives, sometimes, you need to be the mouthpiece of your husband. Sometimes, you need to stand in that gap. Sometimes, you need to be the strong one; the courageous one, just to save your home. You might not have the perfect adjective to qualify what he has become lately, yet he needs you! In counseling, I do ask couples, “Has he always been like this?” and the answer is mostly a “No!” since I believe no woman wants a terrible man as a partner. Now, the change you desire in him is possible, all you need do is to stretch forth your caring hands and pull him out of that pit. You be the very opposite of him. If he screams, you be silent. Don’t ever conclude so fast on that man if he’s not always like that; read 16 Raw Truth Ladies Must Know. Now that he needs you, your understanding of his present emotional instability would help him pass through that phase. You could as well refer him for therapy.

To the husbands, that woman cannot be bent or made to your “satisfaction guaranteed” level. Appreciate her! Let that same thing that pulled you to her pull you forever. Acknowledge the fact that she’s trying her bit to make you happy. Acknowledge the efforts she’s making in becoming the woman you deserve and let that be clearly applauded. Know that you’ve got some minuses, and even at that, she still tell her friends how much she loves you. She may not be who you wanted her to be but you can put the image into her with a well defined expectation that it might not work. Is she gaining more pounds lately? Is she lacking some good dress sense? Whatever has given you concern lately can be fixed. Since we don’t have the slightest experience of the background of our partners, we can only help them become what makes us happy. It could be gradual, but of course, it can be achieved. Always commend her on what she does best; a gift would do, and politely talk her into what she is yet to be good at.

Finally, love the fault you see in your man, in your woman, because the other person you admire could be an embodiment of faults and because you’re not that close, you would never know! Appreciate who you have, make them better rather than complaining about everything that goes wrong with them. What we should know about our partner is that – there’s always a woman out there more beautiful than your wife and if you can be attracted to her, be aware that there’s also a man out there more good-looking than you, we only settled for our convictions. Let the beauty of whatever pulled you into the relationship, pull you forever. To receive another interesting topic via your e-mail click here.

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