You hear that everywhere “make money and then women will fall at your feet". I can't help but cringe when I hear such statement. I understand that the state of the country has made many women out there lower themselves into a commodity for the highest bidders, but we men shouldn't adapt to this poor state of mind. If some women don't want to value themselves, then fair enough, but we men shouldn't follow them in this madness.
WE have to be the ones to help these women get their act together, WE have to be the ones to educate these lost women, WE have to be the ones who put it clearly to them that we WON'T/CAN'T disrespect them in such manner (even if they have low self esteem). We can't pretend to be who we are not just to please their selfish agendas….. But most importantly, such crooked mental state is plain wrong and we have to stop it.
I know many of you would say that it’s the only way to be sure of relationship survival, but before I give you the solution to this problem, let’s look at why this is wrong:
1) Men will be inadequate in relationships if they did that. Women are a rare breed and the earlier you get used to them, the better for you. You have to know them, discover them, learn their ways/tricks, and learn what makes each and everyone of them special. The earlier you get acquainted with women and spend valuable time with them, the better prepared you will be if/when you finally are ready to settle down. I call this period the "fondle around" where you are trying to figure out what woman will be perfect for you. It takes a lot of time and effort, but its well worth it.
2) This is no better than buying a wife and you will have to keep "buying" your partner for the rest of your life. Imagine the amount of stress, worries that you would go through knowing that the person laying next to you could be gone the minute you don't have money any longer? What kind of cheap weak relationship is that, and who would want to be in such a relationship? Let us not even dwell on the possibilities of another man (with more money than you) setting his eyes and money on your “bling-bling” orientated partner.
3) How can a man value a lady that is solely attracted to his money, instead of being attracted to HIM (a.k.a his great personality/characters etc)? When you meet a person you have to put your greatest traits forward. You want people to value you for such points which are highly needed in order to make a strong and long lasting relationship. These are character/attributes (that you can't lose like money) required to build a great foundation in any union. They are traits such as INTELLIGENT, TRUSTING, EMOTIONALLY GENEROUS, HARDWORKING, FAIRNESS, STRONG MINDED, FLEXIBLE, SECURE, RELIABLE etc.
4) Would you value/treat a woman properly, knowing fully well that you have paid for her services to be with you? Would you respect such a lady knowing that you can just discard/loose her, and probably get another one within 24hrs? Is such a cheap lady even worth all the years of hard work that you have put in?
5) We all know you can buy companionship, “ashewos” are selling it on a daily basis at many street corners but, do you think you can buy love/care? There are some things in this world that you cannot buy, and the care/respect/love that a woman will have for you cannot be bought. This is some of the reason why men wake up in the morning and they just feel blessed. You will have to earn LOVE, earn CARE, and earn RESPECT etc through hard-work and perseverance. It will be worth a lot more that way...... And worth absolutely nothing if you "foolishly" try to buy it.
6) How inadequate are men of today that they cannot even woo a lady, unless there is money involved? Who cares if she is going to turn you down? What's important is to be around women and to learn about their tactics (in order to be able to counter them wisely). Wooing a woman with money is easy, wooing one without money just with your skills is best….. Because even if you end up never making a dime, you will still have acquired the skills to get access to great women.
7) Raising the bar so high for young men of today is wrong, and/or we shouldn't be surprised when these same young men are willing to sell their own body parts, become drug mules, take part in armed robbery, kill, lie, cheat, do 419 or worse…….Just to get enough money to attract these low mentality women, and finally be married to them. Such sad mentality has very negative effects on us all and that's why it is important to stop it at all costs.
8) From the age of 12, men's hormones are like a raging tiger in their pants, that they have no control of……. And yet, you guys expect these same men to forget completely about what can "possibly" tame such tiger (women)…… For about +15/20yrs, and focus on making money. But, how can they when that tiger makes it impossible for them to focus on anything?
9) And finally we have the question of LOVE. Do you think you can love someone on demand? So, you have money, throw it at just about any girl you set your eyes on, and suddenly love will blossom? Ahahahahah, if only love was that simple. Unfortunately, you can throw billions of $$$$ at a lady and she may still not love you one bit. Yes, she will love your MONEY but you as a person would be as important to her as the dirt on her shoes. Love can NOT be bought; no amount of money can make a lady value you as a MAN. The earlier you understand that, the better.
Now, I can already hear you all saying: “Fine MBJ but what is the solution then?"
Well FIRST, we have to stop blaming women for acting like whores selling themselves to the highest bidder. If that’s what some of them wants to do then let them. It is their lives and you WOULDN'T want such low mentality woman to be the mother of your children anyway. Such women are lazy, vain, and good for absolutely nothing but to dry up a man's fortune, instead of making it double or triple.
It is clear to me that most men who want to be with these women, and subsequently have this failed state of mind, will never find peace in their lives/union because the foundation of such union is crooked from the get go.
SECOND, you have to value your team's best/main player (aka YOU). You have to give yourself credits, you have to love/value yourself, but most importantly look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and love the person you see. It starts right there, be proud of who you are, whether struggling or poor (no condition is eternal).
You also have to value your hard earned cash. How can you work so hard to make money and foolishly throw it at someone that will never value it? Making money is the easy part; keeping or adding to it is the hardest part. So, having a partner with inflated beliefs of entitlement will just send you right back to square one, in no time.
THIRD, it is important to be around women as early as possible. The earlier you mingle and are part of their world the better. You see, you must be comfortable with women and one way to do it is to spend time with them. If you take women out of your life (to focus on making money), you will eventually be desperate, seriously lacking and ready to explode (like a ticking bomb). So, after +10yrs of waiting for it, you won't make the right choices out of desperation and instead will just take whatever you first set your eyes on..... Like a hungry person, you will just eat anything you can get your hands on. From nothing to everything in a flash, that’s wrong!!!! A steady flow of women is the only way to go, until you settle down with the proper lady.
FOURTH, Love don't cost a thing; stopping a lady on the street and having a conversation with her don't cost a thing; you don't even have to take her to any eatery if what you are saying seems interesting to her. Be different, Make your mark and be that special guy. If throwing money at her is only what you got going for yourself then you will just be another crab in the bucket. So long as you believe in yourself and abilities then you are on the right path…….. And most importantly, if you never make money, then you will still have acquired the required skills to understand women. The minute you have that, is when you will be able to woo them regardless of how much money you have or how good looking you are (it will just be a bit harder if you look like King Kong).
Read, expand your knowledge on current affairs of the world, learn new skills, hang in different social settings, don’t limit yourself, educate yourself on anything and everything, do something different once in a while, never be afraid to be you as this is something unique that you have and will never lose……and never take seriously the selfish/negative words of a lady who is in the same economic situation as yourself.
REMEMBER: a person who didn't value you when you were poor has no place in your life the day you finally make money.
Written by MBJ for Coachdexplorer.com
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